Catch Yourself On, Love

In work, everyone is always calling for Mary. People in the shop. People on the phone. The pharmacist. The pre-reg pharmacist. The pharmacy technician. And me. "Mary! Mary! Mary!" We hear that and say that all day long....except for the odd occasion when I turn around and shout, "Mom!" Because apparently there's some sort of psychological connection between that word and the person from whom everyone is demanding full, immediate attention.

Mary is anything like my mom.

For starters, this is how a typical conversation goes between Mary and her son (on the phone). We only hear her side of it. "Don't be a f***ing a***h***!" Pause (whilst her son presumably speaks to her on the other end). "Wise up, son! You're full of sh***!" On the upside, Mary's son is not allowed to use her language. Also on the upside, Mary's language is not at all a reflection of actual disappointment. Mary swears as often as she boils the kettle and talks proudly about her son as often as she drinks a cup of tea. And Mary drinks tea a lot.

Swearing and other blunt turns of phrase may not just be Mary's thing, either. Northern Irish people have a tendency to round out their vocabulary with lots of colourful language. Even the priest the other day asked the confirmation candidates, "What in the Hell is wrong with the world?" and proceeded to exhort them not to fulfill the expectations of the times that they, as young people, be "buck eejits" and general other unsavoury things that there are fun Irish slang words for. I think the main difference between MN and Belfast is that they don't consider the same words to be swear words in Belfast as they would in MN. (I could give you the rundown in person but preferably not on this blog...)


I gave up swearing for Lent, and I never realised how Northern Irish I had become until I discovered that there are entire sentences I can't say anymore but that, at one point long ago, I never used. I'm having to learn how to express myself all over again! But I'm sure you will all be grateful for my clean language by the time I return home.